• If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling, your truck will break down.   • There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.   • No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.   • The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.   • Tack you hate never wears out, blankets you hate cannot be destroyed, horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.   • One horse isn’t enough, two is too many.   • Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse’s head left to trim.   • If you’re wondering if you left the water running in the barn, you did.   • If you’re wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn’t.   • If a horse is advertised "under $5,000", you can bet he isn’t $2,500.   • If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street clothes", you will get dirty.   • You can’t push on a lunge line.   • A horse’s misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.   • The number of horses you own increases according to the number of stalls in your barn.   • An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.   • You can’t run a barn without baling twine.   • Hoof picks migrate.   • Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your hat fits.   • If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.   • If you’re winning ­ quit.